My Stay at Seven East: Day Four

by Noise Pollution

I don’t have anything clever to say. Here’s my fourth day at Seven East.


 

I think it’s Saturday, June 7th, 2014

All these meds make me want to drink caffeine again. I haven’t had caffeine in a long, long time, but these meds make me so tired that I’ve been wishing for a coffee. I haven’t even touched so much as a Coke in forever, and here I am, wanting coffee. I’m not going to have any, though. I quit drinking caffeine even before I quit using drugs. It just makes me more anxious than I already am, and a headache always follows close behind.


The marks on my arms are healing way slower than they usually do. I have no idea why.


Everybody here has a paper wristband on that has their name, birthday, and a number on it. Normally, I’d go on about some bullshit like, “they treat us like cattle!” or whatever, but they don’t. The staff here knows everybody here by name, without looking at the stupid wristband, and they all seem to actually give a fuck. They treat me better than most other people do, to be honest.


It’s really interesting watching people improve. There’s a guy here named [redacted] who has been here since before I got here, and I had never seen him eat lunch until today. He’s also going out of his room, which is something he hasn’t done much before. It’s really nice to see.


 

It could just be me

or it could be everyone else

Hey, if I’m just a little bit crazy

then maybe I can be okay with myself

but there are no fucking answers

to  anything at all

so I bleed a little bit faster

and I stumble and I fall.

 

God, I think I don’t exist

to anyone but me

the signs are on my wrist

but nobody can see.

 

It could just be me

or it could be everyone else

I think I’m going crazy

I don’t want to be myself.


I’ve got a new roommate. I haven’t asked what his name is yet. I’m bad socially. I’ll do it eventually.


That new roommate, he’s coming down off of some hard stuff. I can tell just by looking at him. He’s nice though. I’m actually showing him around the place, something I never would have stepped up to do before this treatment.

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