Happy

by Noise Pollution

You’ve made
yet another broken life
it’s just another sleepless night
so don’t worry, I am used to this by now
You are
just another perfect sight
I’ll just black out my eyes
don’t worry, I can figure this all out

if it makes you happy,
whatever makes you happy.
if it makes you happy,
do whatever makes you happy.

I can
carve a charm into my wrist
begging for your kiss
but don’t worry, I’m not dreaming it’ll help
I’m sure
that I’ll one day lose my grip
wishing the words could rest upon your lips
but don’t worry, I’ll just leave and go to hell

if it makes you happy
do whatever makes you happy.

if it makes you happy.
if it makes you happy.

Today, I’m posting a song I wrote when I was about sixteen. It’s about a girl. (It always is, isn’t it?) I was stuck on this beautiful girl at the time who not only wouldn’t give me the time of day, she would repeatedly raise my hopes up and led me on repeatedly, and I fell for it every fucking time. I put off all my other relationships in an attempt to pursue this girl, but she never did the same. Not that expecting her to do that is okay or anything, but that was how my sixteen year old brain thought about the world.

I wrote this song when I finally gave up. The line, “if it makes you happy, do whatever makes you happy,” isn’t meant to be a positive thing, it’s meant to be this fucking depressing line about desperately trying to let go. It’s bitter. It’s extremely bitter. And I fucking love it. This is the first song my old band ever recorded, with my awful sixteen year old voice singing those lyrics over the whole thing.

 

I’m the tall, blonde kid.

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