by Noise Pollution

I am fucking tired. I am so fucking tired. Even lifting my arms is a chore right now. I don’t know if it’s lack of sleep, general unhealthiness, my medication or some sick cocktail of all three. Either way, I fucking hate it. I’m actually trying to combat it; I’m exercising a bit and eating… well, I still eat like shit, but one step at a time, right? It’s not really working yet, but I have to hope as hard as I can that it will pay off eventually. I can’t live like this for much longer. It’s hard to do anything at all. I need a job, I need to paint my parent’s deck, and I need to exercise. This shitty feeling isn’t conducive to any of that.

I’m sick of the exhaust pouring out of my medication and into my muscles. I have to take it, though. I can’t go back to the way things were before. If I think things are bad now, all I have to do is think back to every single morning before my treatment to be reminded that they aren’t. But god, am I exhausted.