by Noise Pollution

I miss having somebody here at night. I don’t miss her specifically, but I do miss having someone to hold onto when my anxiety creeps in through my doors and through the dark.

It has me in it’s grasp; a tight grip wrapped around my head and my heart. I can’t sleep. Not tonight. I miss the feelings I used to have for a girl now long gone. And while I wish her good riddance, I wish I had something like it in moments like these.

I miss having someone in my grasp, mentally gripped tight by my over-sensitivity and self-indulgent kindness. It was so comforting, that.

When anxiety used to grip me, I could just grip her tighter. Now that that’s gone, I don’t know what to do on nights like these. I could take an excess of medicine, perfect my sleeping situation, and meditate until I don’t actually sleep, but that seems hard on my body and a waste of time.

There has to be a solution. I can’t be gripped by this forever.