Lover In the Snow
by Noise Pollution
Click that little “play” button. Then read. The idea of that makes me happy, so humor me, please.
I think I’ve forgotten how to like somebody. Romantically. You know?
At the very least, I’ve forgotten the feeling. If it’s come up recently, I don’t recognize it.
I think I might have some very faint feelings for someone right now. I don’t know. I remember a long time ago…
…Well, I guess it wasn’t all that long ago. It was a little over a year ago now. But I remember. I remember feeling this sort of thing so goddamn strongly. I remember having feelings that could be betrayed, you know? Right now, they’re not anywhere close to strong enough for that to be a possibility. I remember being led on, as if that was a thing that could happen. I had these raw, underdeveloped feelings that were painful to the touch and people were fucking touching them. It hasn’t been that way in a long time. A long time for me, at least. But who knows? Maybe the feelings are still the same, but no one has been prodding them like they used to. No one has had the urge to poke the corpse that is my emotions with a stick, like a kid would on a dare.
Or maybe my emotions are muted. Or developed. Maybe I’m just more mature than I was. If thats the reason why I don’t feel things the way I used to anymore, than I’d rather be a child forever.
But I do have an inkling of a feeling for someone. So there is that. And it’s kind of nice.