A Statistical Analysis Of Nothing

by Noise Pollution

Look, just because someone has numbers to back up something they’re saying doesn’t make it true.

What brought that up?

I work at a bookstore, and the “Current Affairs” section of the store makes me absolutely fucking sick. The entire goddamn section is filled with books written by people who are taking advantage of people’s fear and hatred in order to sell them something. It’s fucking terrible. The titles might as well all say either “Here’s Why Democrats Are Stupid: The Book” or “Here’s Why All Republicans Deserve To Die” or “Here’s Me Spouting Bullshit About The Latest Issue So That You Can Tell People On Facebook Why They’re Wrong”. It’s a giant goddamn circlejerk of assholes who want you to pay them to make you feel good about being an asshole.

It’s fucking terrible. You can find a statistic or study to prove literally anything, including the fact that statistics can prove literally anything.

Here’s one that says that smoking pot actually improves the functionality of your lungs.

Here is a website that claims the opposite.

I could keep going. I could find statistics to prove opposites all fucking day, but I don’t want to. It all makes me sick to my stomach.

The internet is filled with people saying they can back up their irrational and crazy view with numbers, and my bookstore has a section dedicated to authors who do just that.

Look, I guess that all I’m trying to say is that you shouldn’t let these fucking fear-mongerers rule you. Don’t believe every scare story on the news, don’t freak out about a new study your friend pointed you to on social media, and don’t buy books in the “Current Affairs” section of any bookstore. You’re better than that. You have better places to expend your time, emotional energy, and money.

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