Sick, Sick, Sick

by Noise Pollution

I’m still sick.

It’s six in the morning where I live, and while it’s not unusual for me to be up at this hour to get ready for work, it is unusual for me to be up at this hour on one of my days off. I was awoken by my own fucking coughing fit about a half-hour ago and have been coughing too much since to fall back asleep.

Poor me.

I did just check the internet to find out if Dayquil actively keeps you awake, and (thank god) it doesn’t! So there’s potential there for me to take something that might maybe possibly get me back to bed. Because I can’t really take any other cough medicine because I don’t have any of it in pill form. And believe me, I tried. I downed the tiniest bit of Robitussin a little while ago and threw it up after about seven seconds of trying to keep it down and rinsing my mouth and throat out with water. I just can’t do it. It’s fucking disgusting and not meant for humans to ingest and I have a history with it that makes it even more impossible to drink and holy fuck they need to change the formula or something goddammit.

Yeah, when I was in high school I used to get high as fuck off of cough medicine. Pro tip: Don’t fucking do that! It makes you vomit profusely, you feel like you’re literally going to die multiple times in a night, and the hangover lasts three days. It’s a bad one, too! The first day of the hangover is just waiting until you don’t have double vision anymore. The second day of the hangover is hoping you can take a shower without the sensation of the water hitting your skin causing you to pass out. The third day is just a fucking shitty hangover.

But yeah, any hope of being able to take Robitussin for what it’s actually meant to be used for has been dashed by my repeated abuse of the product in the past. Because now my body knows that that particular mix of chemicals leads to vomiting, and I can’t have any amount without that happening.

Not that I wouldn’t fucking vomit if I didn’t have that association. Robitussin is fucking horrific tasting.

Anyways, if my writing is a bit off, it’s because I’m incredibly tired, sick, and bitter about both of those things! Thanks for slogging through my wonderful post about puke. I really wrote a blog post about puke. Gross.

Earlier in this post I said the words “high school” in a sentence that also talked about me getting high. I have to make a joke about it, right? …High school? More like… more like “high-all-the-time school”! Oh god. Please kill me.