Narrowly Avoiding Death

by Noise Pollution

I just took an Ambien and then started shaving. It apparently only took me four seconds to forget that I had taken an extremely intoxicating sleeping pill. Fortunately, I realized my mistake before it kicked in, and prevented an accidental suicide! My life almost just ended in an extremely unsatisfying way! How fucking terrifying. Holy shit, I’m so scared of death sometimes it hurts. And it can happen so easily and out of nowhere, too, which is all the more frightening. Anyways, I should probably post this before my sleeping pill kicks in and I start typing absolute gibberish.

Seriously, I have pages of notepad files saved from attempts to write poetry while feeling the effects of this medication and… it’s not pretty. There’s one page that is entirely filled with slashmarks (/). Apparently I was trying to draw an ACII wave, or something. I don’t know. It seemed like a good idea at the time.

Oh, and I guess I should mention that I’m not attempting to implicate this medicine in anyway. I rarely if ever manage to actually stay awake after the effects kick in, and the few times I have, those notepad files are the only thing to come of it. I’ve never been put into any danger while taking Ambien; I never sleepwalk, I always have a memory of the previous night after waking up, and I never have an urge to leave the house while feeling the effects. For me personally, it is an extremely effective sleeping medication that has very few negative side effects. This particular instance of my life being in danger was entirely due to my own idiocy and inability to put two and two together, and not at all due to the effects of the medicine.

But yeah. Almost died. Didn’t. So that’s cool, I guess.