It Can Always Get Worse

by Noise Pollution

Apparently the Ambien I took last night triggered a bit of a flashback to when I was arrested several years ago. I wrote this through the haze of the medicine apparently, though I barely remember doing so.

Restrain my arms
and toss me down on the ground
and give me what I deserve
hit me again
restrain my breath
with your pathetic hands
and lock me in a cage
with plastic fucking walls
and other fucking people
out to get me
out to get me
out to fucking get me
point the gun in my face
and spit in my eye
and shove my body away
and shove my body upright
against a wall
I’m learning complacency
I’m learning to accept the things I can’t change
I can’t change your elbows burrowed deep into my spine
or the metal clenching my wrists tight
I can’t change anything tonight
I’m learning fucking complacency!
I learned to never sleep
Sleeping is wrong
if it’s so wrong, is it how I ended up in this place?
I feel dust falling from the ceilings and it’s crushing me
and I cannot breathe
and I get dragged away
not to save me, though, never to save me
it’s only because it can always get worse
it always gets worse here
The green walls contrast with the blinding blue and red outside
I can’t bear them, they’re too bright
so I look away and never look back
it’s easier this way