God Only Knows

by Noise Pollution

I saw you
I saw you through a screen
then through a screen door
and I heard a desperate scream
I heard you screaming
it would have meant something to me
but I was told I shouldn’t care
what reason were you even there?

To see my roommate?
friends since seventeen
is this your new conquest?
well, it seems a little mean
and you
made it out of here
so stay
away, my dear.
I can’t
catch the plague you carry
or I’ll
die.

I tasted poison
you didn’t add nearly enough
to stop my breathing
I blow out air to balance
out your suck.
So now I’m leaving
a perfect situation
for your feelings
so you can get complacent
and I vomit out
a million words onto
a scrap of paper
inside this room
I share with someone
I will forget later
these windows, they don’t open up
my darling, won’t you give a fuck
and find out
where I am?

God only knows, but he won’t tell
because he talks to no one
He’ll watch as I eviscerate myself
and carve it all undone
God only knows, but he won’t tell
’cause he don’t care no more
at all

I smoke a cigarette
outside, with a girl
and it’s okay,
it’s not the end of
the fucking world
like it used to be
I had no friends
I have none now
are you content
to fuck this out
while I await
a goddamn sign
from anywhere
out in the sky
to tell me what I
already know
you were a fluke,
I am alone.

[I originally wrote this on paper, the italics and bold represent when my handwriting shifted to something sloppier and more aggressive.]

Advertisements