10 Minutes of Madness
by Noise Pollution
This happens every day.
This happens every single day.
When I have less than an hour before some sort of task requires my attention, be it work, an appointment, a family gathering or otherwise, I am overcome with an incredible amount of anxiety. And no, it’s not because I’m freaking out about being late or running out of time. This always happens after I’m fully ready to leave.
I just can’t figure out what to do with these dwindling minutes of freedom and it scares me. I don’t know why it scares me, but the feeling really can be described as fear. Less than an hour is too long to spend simply waiting, but too short to get invested in anything. So all I can think to do is pace around the room and worry. I worry about how stressful the day will be, I worry about how much sleep I’m going to get when I get home, I worry about so many things.
It’s crazy. I’ve had full-blown panic attacks just because I got ready and had fifteen minutes left before I actually had to leave for anything. I’ve tried solving the problem by just leaving early, but then I get there and I have an entirely different kind of anxiety.
I have to work soon, in case anyone was wondering. I’m freaking the fuck out.