First or Second Nervous Breakdown in New Jersey

by Noise Pollution

I’ve been starting every morning
by not getting out of bed
with hands grasping out at cold air
pulling dreams back to my head
I’m so sick of waking up
when everything is upside down
I wish I had a straight line
but it keeps moving around

and I just can’t follow
anymore
I feel so hollow
carved out all my gore
Just tape my eyes closed
so I can’t see
what the hell
is happening to me

I think I’m throwing up
my hands
I think I’m giving up
I think I can
I think I’m getting tired
I’m almost twenty-five
lest I prove myself a liar
I should get ready to die
I said I’d die before I got old
I said I’d kill you if you ever sold
me out, I guess you did
I guess that I’m okay with it.

There are questions I refuse to answer
and problems I won’t solve
and even if I live to cancer
I will not evolve….

I will probably give up.

I’ve been starting every morning
by not opening my eyes
trying to imagine
maybe I’ve already died
I’m so sick of coming to
I don’t know what you’re going through
but if I have to dream of you
and your green apple shampoo
the very least that you could do
is let me fall out of love with you

but I can’t follow
anymore
and I can’t swallow
this closing door
it’s been years
it’s been months
It’s been days
It’s been long e-fucking-nough!

I think I’m throwing up
my hands
I think I’m giving up
I think I can
I think I’m getting tired
I’m almost twenty-five
lest I prove myself a liar
I should get ready to die
I said I’d die before I got old
I said I’d kill you if you ever sold
me out, I guess you did
I guess that I’m okay with it.

[Note: This is explicitly written for the purpose of being sung aloud; there are spots that may not work incredibly well written out {the “e-fucking-nough” in particular} but aren’t really meant to be read, anyway.]

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