Still, Still Here

by Noise Pollution

You are
still here
but I’m on
my own
I feel you
laying in my bed
when all I want to do
is sleep alone.
I can see
your clothes
laying on my
bedroom floor
I can hear
you laugh
even when I close my
bedroom door

and it doesn’t matter
what I do to fill the hole
’cause shit is just shit and everything’s shit
all the way down to my soul
and all the scars I had before
are just a reminder
that everything awful can always become more
awful, and it has.
and it will continue to.

You are
not real
but you seem so
physical, physical
As I shake
and I chill
and I sweat,
you make me physical, physically ill
without you,
It’s just me
there’s no us
there’s no we
without you
I’m just me
I just don’t know
what that means