And Clyde

by Noise Pollution

As I slide across the asphalt
I hear you whisper in my head
But all the words you say hold so false
you close you eyes or stare straight ahead.

As I count my many blessings
I hear you whisper ‘low your breath
“If only someone else would find me”
And I just get more depressed.

As my windshield gathers raindrops
I hear you whisper to yourself
“There are haves, and there are have-nots,
and I am half of someone else.”

Well I
am someone else’s half
and I swear it ain’t so bad.

We could sit here forever
you could tell me your life
but you only ask questions
and I only oblige
You still sleep with my best friend
you swear you never had sex
you’ve got a man of a boyfriend
another guy who you wear on your chest
Well, I could break up with Natalie
It’d be so easy to do
You know I never felt the way
about her that I did you

And it’s so obviously sick
and you’re so obviously right
and I’m so obviously worthless
and you’re so obviously my type
and it’s so obvious sometimes
you are obviously blind
but I was blind for longer
and now we’ve both obviously made up our minds.

As we slow to a stoplight
I hear you whisper to me
“Maybe you could be someone
if only I was someone but me.”

As I push ever onward
I know you whispered again
I try to listen to something else
as you metaphorically kill your friends.

As I open the door wide
I wish I hear more whispers now
but all I hear is your breathing
as you lay me on the ground

And my head is mess
and I know that this
will never happen again
and it never happened

and I know I’ll wake up from this dream
and realize everything
I know now what you used to mean
but I’m facing the opposite sea
And I know that it’s only a dream
and you never would have loved me
but for a dream it is such a dream
it is driving me

I don’t know who you sleep with now
I guess that I shouldn’t care
I could ask, yeah, I could find out
but I want you to remember I’m there
and you probably hate me
like most people I used to know
Or worse you’ve forgotten
and haven’t thought of me since I had to go.
I still wake up at night
shaking at things you implied
but your actions were so loud
that you stilled me deep inside

As I watch you step forward
You whisper into the night
“If only you didn’t love her
if only you ever tried.”

[To my friends from before: I’m aware of the awkwardness of the song. I’m aware that it’s super weird and one-sided and based entirely on a falsehood that has only formed since moving away. I’m not delusional about this, just nostalgic. I know. It’s still weird.]

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