She’s Married Now

by Noise Pollution

You smile
wide
At the one standing
Behind (me)
And I can’t help but overhear
Your stare
It’s louder than your heartbeat
It is vibrating the air

Am I a nuisance
To you?

I would love being your friend
If you were really a friend
But when a pretty boy comes walking by
I never hear the end
And I don’t see you
For weeks
Until he dumps you off on me

Then I’m number one
We’re so much fun
We’re perfect for each other
Platonically
Un-ironically
I’m like a little brother
Stop.
There goes another guy
I get your voicemail yet again
Why is it every time you fall in love
I lose my right to be your friend

I mean, it hurts and all
To see you so in love
With literally everyone else…
But I’ve moved on somewhat
I need to look out for myself
So I can stay by your side
And you can find someone else

And I swear that it’s fine
I mean, friends, they don’t mind
But when I need you, you’re blind
To all the screaming in my mind
As if I owe you that much
For ever daring to like you
Like I should be paying you back
As if my love was to spite you
Like loving you wasn’t fair
As though all of my despair

Never counted towards

This lopsided deficit
That should have never been there
But the way you interpret it
I owe you your share
For bothering to put up with it
Because I ever dared
To ask you
If you cared
Like I do

I don’t want to be your friend.
I don’t want to be your friend.
Or your lover!

If you ever need a shoulder
Or just somebody’s blood to cry on
If you need carrying over
Or a hill of bodies you can die on
You need a sufferer to take your sins
And animate the dead
You’re dreaming, go the fuck back to bed.

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