Fumbling My Way Through Life, Episode 3

by Noise Pollution

Otherwise known as “The Minor Tragedies of Christmas Eve”

On my way home from work today, I noticed that a cop had set up a speed trap on the street I was driving down.

Insert flurry of emotions.

Then, insert a weird argument with myself where I try to figure out where, morally, I should stand on this issue that has suddenly come to my attention.

Insert me slowing down to thirty miles-per-hour.

Maybe it would be better if I actually explained my thoughts, rather than just typing out the concept that I had thoughts at all. For context, I did not get a ticket or pulled over or really anything here. I just happened to see this speed trap as I was coincidentally obeying the law anyway. This thought process isn’t colored by some sort of financial loss or loss of face.

My immediate reaction, formed entirely within the gut without any say from the brain, was fuck that guy. Maybe not the most elegant or thoughtful of reactions, but A: I was in a car and thusly in “fuck everyone else I just want to get to where I’m going” mode and B: I was kind of bitter about how work has been this holiday season at that exact moment. I’m not trying to excuse myself or anything here, just trying to explain myself. Trying to explain how someone who considers themselves moral and just and thoughtful would immediately shit all over a human being; a civil servant, no less. But it did happen.

After about three seconds of thought I realized (through experience) that most everyone who was out today was kind of thoughtless on some level, as they had put off their Christmas shopping until literally the least convenient day possible, short of attempting to do so on the day itself. I’m not judging you if you had to go out to shop today. Unless you’re like seemingly everyone who shopped at my work, who seemed to be purchasing the entirety of their Christmas Day on the spot.

Side note: What a shitty Christmas Day it is when all of the gifts you bought were last minute and not thought out in the least! I sold five tablet pillows in an hour. Five. Tablet pillows. Pillows for a tablet. Read that again. These people were so desperate to find a gift that they actually thought someone might feasably  want a thing that makes their tablet more comfy in their lap.

And it was those people who generally populated the roads this afternoon. I can see the need to make sure that the streets are safe when that’s the case.

Still though. To be the guy getting a ticket on Christmas Eve, man… What a bummer that would be. I mean, I guess the moral here is that you should always obey traffic laws, but I’m not going to judge someone for fucking speeding. Every single person who has ever driven a car has done it at some point. Maybe you’re like me and obey the speed limit almost all of the time. You’ve still done it. Maybe on accident, even. And I feel for the person who happened to do it on that street on that day. I mean, imagine the person wasn’t, you know, financially stable? And they were on their way to pick up some gifts for their kids or wife or boyfriend or anyone really and now they’re just… 200 dollars out. Whoever’s Christmas that was going to be, it’s a speeding ticket less exciting now.

And yeah. I know. It’s still the person who is speeding’s fault. I can’t blame the cop for enforcing the laws. I can however feel empathy for the person stuck at the shitty side of that law, regardless of how preventable their situation was. It still sucks. My night in jail a few years back was fucking horrible. I may have earned my way there, but it doesn’t make it suck any less. So I really do feel for people in shitty situations, even if it was their own actions that lead to them.

But yeah. Some frustration there with the speed trap. Not something that gets you in the holiday spirit, exactly. But I guess it sucks for that officer that he was stuck out there today, too. And I’m sure there’ll be a number of them out tomorrow, too. That can’t be fun.

Side note to end on: fuck working retail this time of year. I’m so tired. What a nightmare. But happy holidays anyway, everyone. Tomorrow will be a better day all around.

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