My Thoughts Are Pollution

Coming-of-age ramblings that don't mean much in the long run

Month: July, 2016

I turn 23 today.

“And that’s about the time she walked away from me
Nobody likes you when you’re twenty three
And I’m still more amused by TV shows
What the hell is A.D.D.?
My friends say I should act my age
What’s my age again?
What’s my age again?”

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Pokemon Is In The Air

One, Two

Back when we were seventeen
and knew where we were headed
Before the seven thousand things
we’ve done that we’ve regretted
I asked you “What’s it matter? I
have only been pathetic…
Someday you will say goodbye
and I will have to let it
happen.”

And I let it
happen.

Back when I was younger still
before you and I met
Another girl, and other thrills
that I tried to forget
I wrote so many songs for her
I wrote us a duet
Where I would sing the bitter words
and she would sing the rest

And there was nothing
left

Well, since I’m stuck on memories
there’s one I can see clearly
In spite of all the remedies
I hold my nightmares dearly
I pour it onto hard cement
and soon it was severely
The reason why I still resent
myself so much, sincerely

And I nearly
This is serious, I still
know I never
will

And now that I’ve gone crazier
and spent some time alone
I’ve gotten so much lazier
since I have come back home
But the wounds, they’ve been reopening
all the stitches that I’ve sewn
And I cannot stop focusing
on things I should’ve known

And stars
that never
shone

I’ve been feeling half-asleep
for something like eight years
The ups and downs don’t seem as steep
when you don’t have to steer
But now my eyes adjust to light
and everything I fear
is that it all will be alright
as long as I stay here

‘Cause I can’t
stay here

Haunted by the ghost of you
and those I used to long for
Praying I would never lose
somebody to be strong for
I’ve learned I’ve got to learn to live
A life where I write songs for
the only one I won’t forgive
That I am not along for

the ride
I can do more

than live
then die

The New 182

I haven’t had enough time to really sit and listen to it, but from what I’ve heard so far, the new Blink-182 album, California, is surprisingly good.

Why do I say surprising?

I mean, I love Blink-182. Normally that would create these unnaturally high expectations for the album, thus setting myself up for disappointment. But, uh, they kinda did that to me with the last album. I think Neighborhoods is kinda bad. Don’t get me wrong, there are songs I like on Neighborhoods (maybe just one, actually) and there are certain things about it that I enjoy, but I think all-in-all, it’s an incredibly incoherent album. It was made with the members of the band recording parts separately from each other, sending song ideas and half-finished lyrics to other members of the band over the internet. And while some people can collaborate in this way and end up with an amazing result, that didn’t happen here. Tom DeLonge just doesn’t work well with these guys anymore, and unfortunately, it showed on Neighborhoods.

Well, prior to writing this album, Tom quit. Or was fired. I don’t know exactly what happened. The last time Blink-182 went on hiatus, he quit in an extremely shitty way, pretty much disappearing on Mark and Travis. I’m a bit more inclined to believe Mark and Travis’s version of the story than Toms at this point. But it’s honestly not all that relevant; the point is that Tom was out. Gone. Done. But unlike the last time Tom exited the band, this time the remaining members kept it going, recruiting Alkaline Trio’s Matt Skiba for guitar and half of the vocals.

It works! He’s a great fit for the band. While he’s not going to have the same effect on Blink’s music that Tom did, (likely skipping the spacescape sound effects Tom is so fond of) he brings something else to the band that they hadn’t had in a while, at least not when they’re not on a stage.

He brings fun back to Blink.

Now, to be honest, fun is not actually my favorite aspect of Blink-182. My favorite Blink-182 songs are the songs where they shut out all of the playfulness in favor of taking things seriously, if only briefly. My favorite album of theirs is the untitled one, (which is severely underrated by most people; it’s actually got a very unique sound,) that being an album that takes itself entirely seriously. My favorite songs off of their albums prior to that are Going Away to CollegeAdam’s SongRoller CoasterShut upStay Together for the Kids, What Went Wrong, Please Take Me Home and Wendy Clear. There are a number of other songs I could add to the list, as far as favorites go, but that list covers just about every non-jokey song they ever wrote prior to the untitled release. The “fun” is clearly not the main draw for me.

All that said, it’s still a totally likeable aspect of the band. Maybe it’s not for everyone, possibly including myself, but it’s easy to see why people would fall in love with that flippant and entirely unpretentious side of them. And after spending such a long time with them making kind-of-underwhelming songs in that “serious” mindset, it’s actually nice to see them taking a different approach that is still totally Blink-182, through and through. And it’s working. The joke songs they’ve released are stupid, catchy, and funny by virtue of being kind of not funny. If that makes any sense. The other songs do seem free of dick-jokes and self-deprecating humor, and there are a lot of them, meaning that I get the Blink-182 album I want, too.

From what I’ve heard of it so far, it’s not, like, blowing me away or anything. But it is good. It is totally listenable, something that I don’t think I can say about at least half of Neighborhoods. It is, at the very, very least a completely serviceable pop-punk album with Travis Barker playing incredible drums over Mark Hoppus’s Cure-inspired lyrics and melodies; Matt Skiba being a surprisingly suitable replacement for Tom. I think that’s all I could have asked for at this point. I would love to hear an album that does for me what Blink’s untitled album does, but I don’t think continuing to have that expectation of anyone, let alone any stapled-back-together incarnation of Blink, is reasonable. I’m happy with this album so far. It doesn’t have to change my life, I’m just glad it reminds me of the fact that they already did.

You Are My Sunshine

This Is Maybe Obligatory In Nature, But Whaever

Yo! It’s been a minute. Or, like, a month or so. You know. Similar lengths of time, in the grand scheme of things. Both just a blip on the unfathomably long timeline that is, like, all of time. So I haven’t been gone all that long, is what I’m saying.

Okay, that’s not true.

I just haven’t had a whole lot to say. I am currently suffering from maybe the worst case of writer’s block I’ve had in a long time. Rather than create anything new, I find myself dredging up old songs and poems and organizing them, to make it easier to find lines I’m proud of, or things that need touching up. I’ve been making outlines for things, without actually doing any writing for any of it.

I mean, it’s nice to have all of the songs and ideas for the album I’m trying to write all in one place, but I’d rather, you know, write the damn album.

So it hasn’t been easy trying to think of anything to say here. I’m kind of at a waiting point in my life; things are going to happen soon, but right now, I’m just kind of working. Which is okay, I guess. Not ideal, but okay. Better than the way it’s been at times.

I’m not promising a slew of content going forward, or anything. But I did want to give you guys an idea of where my head’s at. And I am promising that anything I do manage to write up will be posted, and that when the ideas start flowing again, this will be active as usual. And that could happen tomorrow! Who knows?

I guess I’m just saying that this blog is not dead, and likely never will be. There are few things that would give me cause to stop writing here, and none of them have happened yet.