My Thoughts Are Pollution

Coming-of-age ramblings that don't mean much in the long run

Two Old Songs Redone

 

Mostly Moving On

So, it’s not the most awesome thing in the world to have to say this, but it’s probably been pretty obvious over the last year or so.

I don’t have any passion for this blog anymore.

It’s not that I’ve lost my passion for writing, I just don’t get a whole lot out of telling these anecdotes about my life or venting these days. I have plenty I could vent about; I’m pretty unhappy with, like, politics right now, and I’m kind of in a situation where I am surrounded by people who feel the opposite. I’ve also been overwhelmed by my studies, even though that’s not really a concern at this exact moment. I’ve had numerous awkward social situations that I could describe in excruciating detail.

I just… I don’t really want to. I’m channeling my experiences into my music. I’m holding on to them to continue developing my perspective, hoping to maybe enlighten someone someday. I’m dealing with life as it comes at me, instead of waiting until after it hits me to try to deal with it.

I don’t really need this blog right now. And who knows; maybe someday that will change. Maybe I’ll need a safe space to vent and complain and worry and act superior. Not that that’s… like… exclusively what this blog was, but it’s hard to look back at things that my younger self did -and this applies to everything in my life- without a little shame. I’ve changed so wildly every few months of my life, it feels like. It’s hard to own some of this stuff.

And I am proud of some of the work I’ve done on this blog. I’ve written about mental health, posted plenty of songs of varying quality, and occasionally even moved people. I’m just ready to move on. I’m ready to move on to a different kind of writing.

You see, I started a new blog a couple of months ago, this one with an entirely different purpose from this one. I’m using it as a platform to express my thoughts on games, movies, television, books, music, and whatever other media I happen to interact with. It’s a different approach to writing that requires some amount of actual thought to be put into it before I just vomit words onto a page. And my writing style is the same, generally. I write like this. I just have to organize my thoughts a little bit better over there for anything I post to be readable. It’s fun. It engages me in a way that this stuff hadn’t been for a while.

So yeah. I’m moving on. Feel free to check out my writing at my new, similarly-named home. And I might pop over here from time to time, if I have a new song to share or something. So yeah. Still writing. Just… I’ve got a new focus for the time being.

Anyways. Thanks a ton for all the time you’ve given to me over the years. Those of you who did make the effort to comment, I really appreciate you. You made me feel like my writing was worth the effort, and kept me doing it. And that’s important to me.

Check out Noise Pollution’s new entertainment blog, Thought Pollution, right here.

Wrote a New Song

A Few Words, Because They’re Important, As Is My Right To Say Them

I’m freaked out right now.

Yeah, it’s because of the election. But I’m less freaked out by the results than I am by the people who made those results happen.

And no, I’m not upset that they voted. Everyone should vote. And they had every right to vote the way they did. It’s the fallout from this all that is astounding to me.

We have elected a man who believes that freedom of the press is wrong. And when I speak to call him out on any of the horrific things he has stated publicly, I am met with a barrage of people claiming that he has the freedom to say whatever he wants.

They are absolutely right. But freedom of speech is not freedom “from” speech. Every action you make has consequences, positive and negative. Every word you say affects someone, somewhere in some way. And guess what? It is just as legal for me to be offended by the xenophobic remarks that man has said as it is for him to say them.

Freedom of speech means freedom of speech for everyone. Not just the people you agree with. Freedom of speech means that when someone says something I find offensive, I am allowed to call it out as offensive. I am not trampling on another person’s free speech by commenting on the things they said.

I have heard people cheer as a man on television said he plans to sue every media outlet who has ever said a negative word about him.

You know what? You people… you people who claim “freedom of speech” whenever someone calls you out for saying something offensive? You don’t believe in free speech. You don’t believe in the very thing our country was based on. You are not Patriots. I value our first amendment far more than you ever could. Free speech does not end at the people who look like you, who sound like you, and who think like you. Free speech does not end at anyone.

I am a Patriot. I am an American, and I believe in freedom of speech. Look at yourself. Look at how you’ve been reacting to the events of this week. Do you aim to silence those who disagree with you?

Do you really believe in our First Amendment?

 

Other Songs Say The Words Better Than I Can Right Now

Don’t Want to be an American Idiot

“Well maybe I’m the faggot America
I’m not a part of a redneck agenda
Now everybody do the propaganda
And sing along to the age of paranoia”

-American Idiot, Green Day

http://www.rollingstone.com/politics/features/after-this-election-turn-it-off-w448974

Patience

Fleeting (Song)

Fleeting

A winter gloom
These clouds hang low in the sky
She feels it crawl up her spine
The greys and blues
Serve only to clarify
As it gently traces a line

Her eyes go wide
Her eyes go black
Her hands are still
Her touch exact
She fogs the mirror
Under her breath
And finally here
She feels the press-
-ure of the last three weeks hold back

But she knows it won’t last.

A brief exhale
The blanket fell off the bed
She holds her shivering bones
Her fingers pale
The blood rushes to her head
Her room, a kingdom; her bed, a throne.

Her eyes go wide
Her eyes go black
Her hands are still
Her touch exact
She fogs the mirror
Under her breath
And finally here
She feels the press-
-ure of the last three weeks hold back

But she knows it won’t last.

Recorded Memories (Original Song)

 

It fades into the background
I hear they’re comin’ around
Gonna play here tonight
And maybe when I go
they’ll play every song I know
under the glow of a thousand lights

Everybody hold them high

So you can take it with you
Prove to all your friends
that you were here

But were you here?
Or were you somewhere else entirely?
Wrapped in a delusion
only staring at a screen
I dreamed
of mattering to you
to make me matter more to me
but I wonder if you notice
that you haven’t even seen
And you will bury me
in a sea
of recorded memories
to be a thing
that doesn’t mean
whatever you believe it means

Instead of letting go
you have held on to a collection
of nothing but projections
There will be no resurrection
of the moments that have slipped away
so you could have them on display
in unconscious vapidity
It all has no solidity

So what if it will never disappear?
I wish you were really here

[Sometimes I go to a concert and see everyone watching the show on their phone screens, instead of watching the incredible thing happening right in front of them. I don’t think anyone actually goes back and watches those videos. And if they do, the memory of the show is… of them holding up their stupid phone the entire time. I’m maybe one of the worst people to follow in terms of “living in the moment,” but moments like that… I’d rather have a really vivid memory of a live show than have a permanent recording of it. Having a good time is more important than proving to yourself and others that you were there.]