This is Why This Blog is Named This Way

by Noise Pollution

I think it’s possible that every single human being on earth is a deplorable person in nearly every aspect of their personality.

My god, I’ve been on the internet too much. It’s really hard to sort through the garbage pile of opinionated psychotic rambling to find anything of value. All I see is a group of self-centered assholes. Then again, I’m not exactly  an optimistic person. It’s hard to find beauty when all you see is shit.

I don’t like most people. There. I said it. I can admit it. I don’t see eye to eye with almost anyone. I’m the problem. It’s not everyone else, it’s me. People say and do shitty things and I take every single  slip of the tongue and every mistaken step personally. I am offended that anyone would think differently than me, and yet I consider myself open-minded.

Maybe I’m just beating myself up over nothing. But, you know, maybe it’s true. I can’t just blow off the possibility that everything that I think sucks is entirely my own fault. I can’t ignore the idea that maybe I perceive the world as a worse place than it really is.

I don’t know how to differentiate my own self-hating ranting from my need to become better anymore. I can’t tell if I’m just talking bad about myself or if I’m discovering something I need to change. I don’t know what to think. I don’t know how to respond to the thoughts I do have. I don’t think I’ll ever enjoy talking to most people. I don’t think I’ll ever nbe motivated. I don’t think I’ll ever think positive. I don’t know how, and I’m incapable of learning.